Needing an advocate

I was an early swimmer. We had a pool in our yard, which prompted my parents to get us into swim lessons quite early. I think I was around 3.

I love the water. I wish I could swim every day. Or at least soak in the water. I'm most at ease near water, and when it's time to relax or vacation, I plan it around ocean, river or lake destinations.

Since I was a early swimmer and summer swim lessons were the norm, I was used to the first day evaluations. I can not remember how old I was, but being younger than most, I was being evaluated to graduate up to the deeper part of the pool. I could not wait. Not only would I learn more, but I was leaving all those babies behind... Those babies who blew bubbles and stood on the risers in the water.

It was my turn to swim the width of the pool and I got off to a bad start, swallowed a bunch of water, started to panic, and was plucked out of my spot and put back with the babies. My heart broke. I did not belong in this amateur group. Plus my best friend advanced and I did everything with her, how could I survive my swim lessons without her.

Mom was sitting in the viewing area and watched the drama unfold. She probably saw the heartbreak on my face. She was my advocate. She was my hero. She asked the instructor to give me another shot, which wasn't typical or easy to do in the chaos of first day swimming evaluations.

Of course I rocked it and advanced. Mom had her reasons: she wanted to see me advance. She also wanted her money paid for lessons to go for something productive. But mostly she wanted to ease my heart ache. The only way she could was to be my advocate and ask for what I couldn't ask for myself.

Now, I am an adult. I am able to ask for things I need and want. When my heart is hurt and I need an advocate, I usually am able to play my own. But there are days when I simply want someone perceptive enough, someone who knows me enough to see me and advocate for me. I miss that.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad