Waking up is hard to do!

Do you ever wake up feeling amazing?  Do you wake up ready to take on the world?  Energy coursing through your veins?  A spring in your step?

Sigh.... I wish I did. 

Every morning I wake up in pain.  Once I get up and going it usually goes away.  When I was younger I would simply stay in bed.  When I got older and responsibilities wouldn't allow that behavior I pushed through it.

But I am tired of it.  I am tired of the daily pain.  I am tired of the fight every single morning.  I  keep wondering why-- why is this test here for me?  What am I learning from this that will make me a better person?  Why is this my challenge?  Ugh.... 

At least I have a sweet husband who will run downstairs and get me medication when I wake up.  He also will get the children fed while I am getting ready so my job of getting them out the door to school is that much easier.  I really have so much... so I guess this pity party is over.

It was good while it lasted

So, I was very fortunate to go on a vacation last week with my best girl friend.  My husband appeared to be super supportive and we had help from his lovely mother with the kids and I was able to enjoy my time away from them and my time with good friends and new experiences.

I really miss travelling.  My biggest regret in life is that I didn't travel more before children.  Of course, we can still travel with kids, but money is a big factor and different destinations are needed for this phase of our lives.

Anyway- I was able to spend much time every day in meditation and relaxation.  I was able to listen to my body and focus on my physical needs.  I was able to take preventative medication and stay on top of my headaches so that for the most part I didn't have them.... or was able to get rid of them quite quickly.  The uninterrupted sleep helped me, I am sure.  The non-demands of children needs, husband needs, home needs helped me too.  I felt truly relaxed and calm and enjoyed each moment as it happened. 

I talked to my kids each day.  My boy needed a song every night.  I missed them and planned what we would do on our next visit(My brother-in-law lives there, so its likely we will visit again).  Coming home was an enjoyable experience to be reunited with my babies.  I jumped right into the fire as the Teacher Appreciation Coordinator for the week and have been busy at the kids school. 

I haven't had the same amount of time to meditate or relax.  I haven't had the same care-free ability I had on vacation.  I haven't been able to truly listen to my body.  My headaches have been back.  I am focusing on the positives and while the pain is still extreme, I am trying to capture that same care-free attitude I had on vacation.  Its OK if things don't go according to plan.  Its OK if things aren't perfect, or even close to perfect.  I need to be making good memories and be enjoying every moment at hand.  The pain - free days were good while they lasted, but I can keep my attitude in check and make an effort to enjoy all my days.