Consider the source

It's so easy to hear, or read, and even see something that immediately makes your blood boil, or your heart hurt, or your feelings break. I've often found that as time goes on the pain will always subside and my true feelings how I feel about the situation will surface.

But it's getting past that initial reaction.

Being a sensitive soul who wears her heart on her sleeve I seem to have a lot of heartache in life. Little things in life would hurt. Small thing. Things that the average person would look at and move pass, my heart would linger on, and hurt for. This is why I'm a nurturer. I'm a caregiver. I'm compassionate and caring. It's the root of a lot of my chronic pain. It all adds up.  Stress can render me close to useless if I'm not careful. Thankfully over my life I've learned to cope, and over the past 10 years with babies I've been able to shift my life in a way where they are taken care of when moments hit(In other words, they are never left to fend for themselves- I know my limits and my priorities).

My dad was patient with me when I was younger. He seemed to understand that a completely well meaning comment or constructive criticism could hurt for days. He saw how judgement from others would hit my inner most insecurities and could make me reevaluate my entire world. He offered me very wise, yet simple counsel:

"Consider the source"

Which sounds trite the first time or two you say it. But after using this piece of advice for years, I've come to rely on it for invaluable perspective.

Is the source of what I heard a good source? If its somthing I read or watched, was it sensationalized to a point to illicit these feelings from me? Is it someone who really knows me and my situation who said something about me or my capabilities? What is the source of this hurt?

I've used this technique to determine what, if anything, needs to be said or done. Generally I can gain perspective, which can sometimes lessen the pain, but always stabilizes my emotions so I can get back on track, focus on what needs to be focused on, and let go of the hurts that strike my heart.

We live in a cruel world. Media ratings are pumped up by devastating reports and the focus on ugly news. People choose to hurt others out of selfish and destructive desires, and by feeling they need, and have the right to add their opinion into a situation that it does not belong.

I have hardened my feelings a bit. But I want to stay sensitive. It's my natural self. I see my children are sensitive as well, and I see the hurt they already feel at times. It's ok to be this way. I was blessed with a man in my life who could teach me how to deal with these feelings and while I will always be learning how to deal with these feelings, I will also be able to teach those around me a very simple phrase: consider the source.

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