Its funny how when I seem to go to the doctor its usually not for my headaches. I go in for some other reason and then use that time to ask her a question or two. I wonder why I can't just face the fact that these headaches are real and consuming and deserve an appointment all their own.
I had an experience recently of someone discounting my headaches because I can live my life with them. I don't always collapse in my bed and disappear- I usually push through the pain, nausea, discomfort. I call this my strength, but maybe its stupidity. During a headache I am usually a bear to deal with but it is normally just my family who sees it. I can fake it for the rest of the world- shield them from the monster this chronic pain creates. Seriously, who really wants to know how I am really doing when they ask: hey, how are you?
Anyway- heading into the doctor today for a different issue other than headaches- a pain issue- but hopefully she can send me in the right direction to get this other issue fixed. I will talk to her about my headache issues and maybe get a couple of adjustments made.
I simply need to be more assertive in this area of my life and I am sincerely wondering why I am not. I would be assertive about it if it were my children, my husband, my parents. Do I not place enough value on myself? Or is it due to habit? Fear? Laziness? All of the above? Maybe its something else I haven't come up with yet but at least I have identified something needs to change. Now its the fun part- changing it.
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