Holiday Stress... Or finding that peaceful place

Christmas was magical when I was younger. I had a dreamy childhood with everything a girl could want.

Things shifted as I got older. Maybe it was my first holiday away from home. I lived in Brussels my senior year of high school. Back in 1993, letters and packages were the main way of communication. My holiday box from my family had not arrived. After having been with a very large extended family and experiencing some amazing and wonderful things we came back to our city home. I went up to my room on the fifth floor, and I sat alone wishing I could snuggle in my moms arms, or lay my head on my dads shoulders, or play with my little sister.

Since then, I have come to realize the holidays are not a guarantee of magic. They had always effortlessly been before. Now that I'm a mother and am trying to replicate the magic of the season for my babies I find my self on edge, stressed out, worried, cranky, insecure, and very sensitive of the behaviors of those around me.

I needed a check in yesterday, and I got it. I snuggled with my kids as we watched Christmas movies. We decided against going to our planned party and just enjoyed each other. It was nice.

In times of stress I need to remind myself of my priorities. It doesn't seem to always come natural anymore. Especially in times of stress.

My priorities are simply the people I love: my children, my family, my very dear friends. I am blessed with many dear friends.

Does this eradicate the stresses of the holidays? No. But If am taking care of myself, if I am taking the time to reflect on my blessings; If I am taking the time to refocus on those I love, who love me; The stress will still be present. The pain is inevitable. But my mind will be more peaceful. And that is the first step for me. Finding that peaceful place.

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