Complaining

Am I allowed to complain? Of course anyone can complain, but am I allowed to complain even though I have NOT gone to the doctor? Should I just suffer in silence? Don't I deserve this pain on some level if I am not actively trying to find a cure for it?

My support people are awesome. But after so many whines and cries about feeling achey and gross- how much more do they need to listen? How much more can I subject them too. I am not going to the doctor yet. I know I should. I am nursing my sweet little baby, and while there are medications "safe" to take while nursing, I would rather not. I am also spending so much time at the Doctor for this same sweet baby who has kidney reflux, to make an appointment for myself seems crazy- where would I fit it in between her appointments? I even passed on the non-essential yearly check up on my 6 year old for this same reason. That and our insurance sucks and we can't afford any extra visits.

I am hoping to fight off the pain on my own. I go thru cycles of pain being worse at some times for than others. I am in the midst of a pain spell at the moment. But, I am hoping that this the magic time of year- school starting- I can find some relief. I am hoping with school starting my regular exercise routine will become, well, regular. I KNOW without a doubt exercise will help to some degree on more of my issues than physical health. I also think maybe two and half precious hours without the big kids will help too. Exercise, cleaning up the house, time teaching and loving my baby, maybe even some visits with friends will all be welcome and possibly therapeutic.

So, I guess I am in a wait and see mode. I WILL go to the doctor when I finally have had it(and I am getting close). But until then, I am trying to curb my whining. If I do open up to you about my pain, it means I trust you. It means on some level I expect you to be sympathetic. But I am trying to NOT be a burden on my friends. I don't know what I would do without some of you. I guess I can't expect you to NOT counsel me to go to the doctor(This counsel comes from not one person- but many). I might even need to keep hearing it. But, until I actually go- thanks for listening. I am trying not to bore or annoy you.